Comments on: Did This Poem Take One Of Those Male Enhancement Drugs?

By: Jack Ricainfou

Jack Ricainfou — Fri, 27 Nov 2009 01:13:24 +0000

As much as I didn’t want to, I actually like this one. I don’t really like the title, it alludes, for me, more to a flat tire on the freeway.
The quatrains themselves, evoke a sense of cold loneliness, which is interesting and ironic considering all the allusions to burning.

By: elyslund

elyslund — Fri, 27 Nov 2009 01:13:24 +0000

Well, if you re-named it ‘Cialis’, it would last 36 hours…does that count-in sleep, grocery store, mowing the lawn….WalMart…well, Wally World is getting its own doctor’s offices….uh, no comment on that one yet…..

By: Elaine Pis for Poetry

Elaine Pis for Poetry — Fri, 27 Nov 2009 01:13:24 +0000

“As I melt away with droplets drooling”–a perfect complement to “cold and wickless.” Sadly, I remember another warm fire.

By: jgrey1go

jgrey1go — Fri, 27 Nov 2009 01:13:24 +0000

i agree with annabell.
keep the poem the same it is a good poem.

By: autumlov

autumlov — Fri, 27 Nov 2009 01:13:24 +0000

no cold and wick less things here. . . . no drugs either. Guess our little corner of the world is doing just fine! :O))))))
The title doesn’t sound like a good marriage to the piece.
I can suggest “Blown Out” or “Warm Fire” or perhaps “Smoldering”.
Great imagery.
I love the overall inference that a solitary, flickering candle . . . . .still burns.

By: Lady Annabella

Lady Annabella — Fri, 27 Nov 2009 01:13:24 +0000

“cold and wickless”??? If you like, I could forward you all the “Enlarge your penis” messages I get every day.
Having said that, your poem is very good, and does not need any enhancement.

By: Evadne Soleil

Evadne Soleil — Fri, 27 Nov 2009 01:13:24 +0000

No, I don’t think it did. I do love this poem, as it likens the fragility of a candle flame to the fragility of love. Simple, yet unique.
Not sure about the use of meanders, though. Doesn’t seem to fit.
True, waft is overused. I understand.

By: Damsel McDreamy

Damsel McDreamy — Fri, 27 Nov 2009 01:13:24 +0000

Perhaps…to make it sound that intoxicating i guess! hehe…
I like the image of solitary candle too…hard, strong and long… that will soon, melt! (sorry can’t help but comparing the melting solitary candle to a pen1s…)

By: Dezy

Dezy — Fri, 27 Nov 2009 01:13:24 +0000

Hot damn boy that was good..I know as a writer you’d like to hear more than just “that was good” but with every line you’ve taken away my mind and left me without speech…In other words you blow my mind

By: argentse

argentse — Fri, 27 Nov 2009 01:13:24 +0000

I’m new here and find your poetry very interesting but I sometimes struggle to fully understand it - hopefully I’ll learn. I mean it may sound a bit dumb to you, but I like the imagery and rhyme scheme in the 2nd & 3rd stanzas - “me, drooling, blowing, desire : me, dark, smoldering, fire”. Is it a stupid question to ask if that was deliberate, I mean because stanza 1 doesn’t have the same rhyme scheme?
I also like the metaphor.

By: TWOBOB

TWOBOB — Fri, 27 Nov 2009 01:13:24 +0000

Oh! those cold winter nights.